When I entered graduate school to become a therapist, I set out on a mission to find a therapeutic approach that would fit me.  I knew myself enough to know that traditional psychotherapy was not it for me. Twenty-four years old at the time and deep in my own personal healing journey, I saw life through a spiritual lens. 

As a young therapist, my goal was to discover a therapy model that not only aligned with my personal philosophy and style but was also highly effective for clients.

Over the years, I’ve explored various therapy modalities, including EMDR, CBT, DBT, play therapy, and NET—the list goes on.

At times, I’d find a type of therapy that resonated with me, yet my clients didn’t report feeling much benefit. Other times, I’d adopt methods that have been clinically proven to produce positive outcomes, but when I applied them, they felt clunky and inauthentic.

During the early stages of the pandemic, I finally had time to dive deeply into a therapy model I’d been hearing about more and more from my colleagues: Internal Family Systems (IFS). Back then, I didn’t know all the details, but what drew me to it was its effectiveness in helping facilitate internal conflicts.

I’ve always understood that the heart of therapy is in resolving internal conflicts. For example:

• Tara, an adult client, feels suffocated by her job and ready to transition into something new. At the same time, she’s terrified of change and fears the uncertainty of what’s next.
• Carl, a teenager, is fed up with his anxiety—whether it’s about saying hello to a new classmate or worrying he’ll fail his classes. Yet, he’s had traumatic experiences in the past where failure led him into a deep depression. He’s afraid that if his anxiety backs off, his depression will return.

While I had learned some techniques to address these internal conflicts, I wanted a more refined, structured approach to help these parts truly communicate with each other. IFS sounded like it had the answer.

So, What Exactly Is IFS?

Internal Family Systems, or known more commonly as IFS or Parts Work, is a model developed over the last two decades by psychotherapist Dr. Richard Schwartz. It’s based on the concept that our psyche is made up of multiple parts or sub-personalities—a concept known as multiplicity, which many people already relate to.

IFS organizes these parts into two main categories:

• Protectors (Firefighters and Managers): These parts work to prevent or extinguish distress. They often drive behaviors like addiction, control, or people-pleasing.
• Exiles: These are parts of us that have been locked away in the subconscious. Protectors typically keep them hidden because they hold immense pain or are seen as unacceptable, either personally or culturally.

Additionally, IFS emphasizes the role of the Self, an inner energy that embodies calm, compassion, and curiosity.

The concept of the Self isn’t new. It’s known by other names in religious traditions and therapeutic practices, such as Buddha Nature or Wise Mind.

In IFS, we invite the Self to facilitate inner dialogues. Rather than letting conflicting parts battle it out, IFS taps into this wise energy to understand all sides and help bring about resolution.

Why Do Therapy Clients Love IFS?

I believe IFS is one of the most sought-after therapy models today because it’s a psycho-somatic-spiritual approach.

• Somatic: IFS allows parts to show up in the body through sensations, thoughts, or images, making it easier for clients to identify their parts during sessions without relying solely on rational analysis.
• Spiritual: IFS recognizes that some of our suffering stems from energies that we’ve absorbed from other people, family systems, cultural beliefs and sometimes unknown sources.  We are porous and can be easily impacted by surrounding energies and emotions.  

The IFS process allows spiritual clients to connect with familial energies to heal intergenerational trauma. Some, though not all, IFS practitioners also guide clients to connect with spiritual guides as part of their healing process. These steps are naturally integrated and not considered taboo within the model.

Having practiced IFS for four years now, I’ve noticed several key differences compared to other approaches:

• Clients find this therapy more engaging and insightful.
• They become more committed to therapy, thanks to IFS’s structure and clear goals.
• Clients cultivate deeper compassion for themselves.
• They easily integrate the IFS model into their lives, through meditation, journaling, and self-reflection.

With IFS, therapy is no longer just about fixing a problem. It becomes a compassionate exploration of all the parts that make us who we are, ultimately allowing us to live more harmoniously.